Non Sequitirs...

Denial.

That is the rut I am stuck in right now.

I have decided that I do not actually have Ankylosing Spondylitis, and it is only a matter of time before my doctor realizes that my test results were mixed up and those CT scan images and X-rays were, um, misread. I can take off the medical ID bracelet, and years from now, I can laugh with a little embarrassment "about that time I thought I had a crippling, debilitating autoimmune disease."

They will let me know about this mix-up any day now...

Proof? I got my new round of blood tests back. My white blood cell count is good, I am not anemic and my liver is fully functioning.

I guess all that really means is that the methotrexate hasn't become a toxic substance to me.

Raynaud's Phenomenon. Heard of it? Neither had I. Sounds like it could be something that occurs when a star supernovas... or maybe it is something spectacular that happens during the Tour de France.

Nope.

It is pretty much cold feet... and cold hands. I could get into a huge scientific explanation, but I'll just say it is a problem with circulation- it is seen a lot in people with autoimmune diseases- like arthritis. So I have cadaver hands and feet... oh and the tip of my nose. Don't ask, it's just ice cold most of the time...

I have been on methotrexate for almost a month and a half now. I spoke briefly with Afrasiabi on Thursday, and he said that right now would be the time that I would start to see the drugs working. Um... okay. I am not as stiff. Does that count? My legs still feel like I have been beaten. Is that a problem?

He mentioned Enbrel and Humira again. I mentioned my health insurance not covering it again. He mentioned they would really be helpful. I DIDN'T mention that I couldn't afford another $1200 a month out of pocket. I DID mention the sulfasalazine he wants to add to the regimen (because it is A LOT cheaper). He mentioned that we would talk about it during my next full check-up. I mentioned that'd be nice...

Turns out that sore throats are now a BIG DEAL. I told Janice, the head nurse, I had a sore throat, and that resulted in a full check-up- ears, nose, throat, temperature- before I got my weekly needle to the butt. Nothing exceptional seen to be construed as the beginning of sickness, HOWEVER...

What is the normal body temperature of a human?
98.6

What was my temperature when it was taken on Thursday?
96.5

Doesn't that mean that I am just about dead?

None of this really matters, though, because I don't actually have anything wrong with me...

Someday (soon, I hope) I will finally move to acceptance. Until then, move along folks, nothing to see here.